Many thoughts and meanings are associated with the word family. Loyalty, blood, unbreakable bonds, and childhood are just a few. We often have this idea of what family should and shouldn’t be, and what they should and shouldn’t do. It seems that we hold our family to the highest standard possible when it comes to relationships with one another.
It’s important to remember that even though they are our family, they are still just people, and people are flawed. People are damaged. People are abused, and most of all, they are broken. When broken people don’t discuss what initially broke them to begin with, it just makes matters worse. Within families we have broken mothers raising daughters that will essentially become broken, because brokenness becomes the norm. Sisters become silent enemies because they would much rather suppress their feelings and pain instead of communicating their issues to one another. Aunts have resentment towards their nieces because they were treated poorly by their aunts as children. Uncles turn into deadbeat fathers because they never really had a demonstration of what it was to be an active father.
The glue that keeps these family matters sealed are the Matriarch and/or Patriarch (elders) of the family. Everyone knows that unity is a must for them! When the Matriarch or Patriarch is called home to glory, the unity is instantly broken. The arguments about nonsense begin. There is always that one person that continues to host the functions that the elders once hosted. However, half of the people show up now because one side of the family doesn’t want to be involved with the other side. In a nutshell, the foundation the leaders put together is destroyed by selfishness, lack of communication, egos, and immaturity.
We all have a role within our family dynamics. Do your part, and if you can sleep at night knowing that you’ve made the leaders of your family proud, then your work is done. You’ve done all that you can do. If you think for a second that you could do more then you should.
Have a little more patience with your family, just as the elders of your family would.