Category: Relationship
Computer Love
Do you remember when the song Computer Love first debuted on the radio? I was a kid but I remember learning the lyrics and how to replicate the beat using my hands and chest. The 90s were truly a time to be alive and growing up! Who would’ve guessed that “Computer Love” would be a real thing?! People date and “kick it with” people online everyday now!
Thirst Trappin
Social media is full of the “high horse men.” You know, the men that are constantly talking about women taking selfies or showing off their bodies for attention. Those same men are the ones giving the same women that they are complaining about all the likes, hearts, and heart eyes. Don’t get me wrong, I like the pictures too but Im not complaining about the picture either.
Learning through reflection
The last year to date has been a transitional phase for me in so many ways. I’ve been on a spiritual journey since the end of 2016 and it entailed a lot. It required a lot from me in the process. I’ve basically been unlearning everything that I’ve been taught as “right or wrong.” Exploring the way I process information, and more importantly my self talk and doubts. Continue reading “Learning through reflection”
Is dating hard or are you making dating hard?
One of my best friends refers to me as a “professional dater.” Though I’m not necessarily proud of the name, I am proud of being able to enjoy myself and live in the moment while dating. And when I say dating, I literally mean going to restaurants, museums, art shows and movies with a man. IT DOES NOT ALWAYS EQUAL HAVING SEX.
Let me guess. You’re reading this blog about me being a “professional dater”. You’re also seeing all these couples and people getting married on your timeline. Meanwhile you’re wondering why you can’t get a text back or a decent date. I absolutely cringe when I hear women say “I hate starting over and getting to know someone all over again.” Continue reading “Is dating hard or are you making dating hard?”
Enough
If you watched BET’s hit series “Being Mary Jane,” last night you watched an intense yet serious moment in Black TV history for Black women. Mary Jane I must admit is very relatable yet extreme at the same time. However when Aaliyah and Mary Jane sat at the office table to prep Mary Jane for her potential interview regarding Lee’s Show (Lee is MJ’s ex boyfriend) the conversation got heated. It was actually more like a monologue, because Aaliyah sat quietly.
Here is what was said by MJ: “His project is trafficking in the same tired tropes.” “Black women are crazy, Black women are promiscuous, Black women are angry.” “But, have Black men ever taken responsibility for driving us to that?” “We live in a society that treats us like we’re the bottom of the barrel when it comes to romance.” “Couple that with constantly trying to prove ourselves as worthy enough, right?” ” Be confident baby girl, but not intimidating, be smart but not emasculating.” “Never enough but too much, too damn much, all at the same damn time.” “Men are encouraged to objectify our bodies, but the minute we search for sexual satisfaction oh baby we are called WHORES!”
I am sure that some people probably took this as Mary Jane being angry, or bitter even though that is not the message nor intent. However, does Mary Jane make some valid points? Shouldn’t Mary Jane have the right to be angry when she, and other Black women are looked upon as a last resort? The bottom of the barrel and/or less beautiful? Has anyone taken the time to discuss why many Black women feel the way that they (we) do? Of course Black women discuss these things amongst each other, but does anyone else care to listen for understanding instead of hearing us to respond and downplay our plight?
The truth of the matter is Black women are constantly walking on eggshells trying to be enough, and not too damn much! Where is the balance in being smart, and then engaging in a conversation yet being perceived as emasculating because of what you know? How is being confident intimidating unless you’re in some form of competition? Everyone should be confident in themselves without being egotistical. Black women can barely take a sexy picture without negative backlash. Men are encouraged to objectify the bodies of women. Yet women can’t seek to be satisfied sexually.
What’s the point of even having sex if you aren’t seeking physical satisfaction and pleasure? The entire ideology of Black women being promiscuous comes from slavery, and I’m exhausted with explaining that! If you didn’t know Black women did not enjoy being raped! Being raped for years does not equal promiscuity! If a Black woman does consider herself (is) to be promiscuous or sexually fluid that does not give anyone the right to disrespect her or judge her. Even if you feel like she may be disrespecting herself you still should respect her, because you don’t control the actions of others, you control yourself!
Did Mary Jane just express to the world what many of us have been thinking and feeling? If you were constantly jumping through hoops to fit a picture of what someone’s idea of you should be, wouldn’t that make you crazy at some point?
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Policing Vaginas
There has been so much celebrity gossip going on via social media lately, with the most recent subject being Blac Chyna and Rob Kardashian. If you’ve been under a rock, let me give you a quick run down: Chyna allegedly sent Rob a video of her in the bed with a dude on July 4th. Rob then began to spill all of Chyna’s tea- which included posting a picture of Chyna’s vagina on Instagram. Keep in mind that they had already broken up, so doesn’t that mean she can sexually entertain whomever she wants? Since then, Rob’s Instagram account has been suspended. Meanwhile, people are talking about how Rob knew Chyna was a hoe and he should have expected it. I’m just confused on how so may people that don’t know Chyna personally know who has been in her vagina! Continue reading “Policing Vaginas”
Family Ties…
Many thoughts and meanings are associated with the word family. Loyalty, blood, unbreakable bonds, and childhood are just a few. We often have this idea of what family should and shouldn’t be, and what they should and shouldn’t do. It seems that we hold our family to the highest standard possible when it comes to relationships with one another. Continue reading “Family Ties…”
Keeping quiet
What’s one of the first things a person does when they are excited about a new business venture or idea? They share it with people! They share it with friends, family, and loved ones! After all, those are people that bring you joy, comfort, and love! There’s no harm in that, right? There is always a person that doubts your idea or makes a negative comment or two- mainly because they have no drive and don’t believe in themselves- but for the most part, you’ll have people that are genuinely happy and excited for you! Continue reading “Keeping quiet”
Relationship confusion.
There seems to be so much love and happy relationships everywhere you turn. I am a person that loves love, all kinds of love. It doesn’t matter if it’s the love you have for your Mom or your bestfriend it’s an amazing feeling. However, I want to focus on the love that you receive within relationships with your boyfriend or girlfriend (significant others). There are people that love each other and show that love for each other by mirroring one another’s love. There are always those that demonstrate their love in completely different ways, but it’s just how they love (Here is where things get twisted). Continue reading “Relationship confusion.”