Category: Lifestyle

Potty training Blues

Posted on by Ashley Rae

Written by Katrina Hamilton

I was recently scrolling through my Facebook timeline and came across a post from a mom asking her followers for pointers on how to quickly get her daughter potty trained. Her comments section was filled with all kinds of pointers from physically disciplining the child, to bribing the child, to making the kid run around naked for an entire weekend, to taking time off work to get it done. My husband and I recently conquered the often dreaded potty training quest ourselves, and throughout the journey, I learned one important thing from it: Potty training your little one is much easier when you don’t try to force them to do it! I don’t even remember when I first started trying to potty train my daughter (yes, it took me so long that I lost track of how much time had passed!), but all I know is that I initially and unnecessarily caught the blues trying to potty train my daughter because she simply wasn’t ready. Continue reading “Potty training Blues” →

Meditation stimulation

Posted on by Ashley Rae

 

It seems like more and more people are interested in learning the art of meditation, or just trying to relax their minds. To some folks meditation is just a fad, I mean it has become very popular and mentioned in every day discussions. For me meditation is my solitude. Meditation is my way of relaxing, connecting with the Universe, changing my reality, recharging my positive thoughts and energy, as well as a form of prayer. I began to meditate in or around 2013.

It started off pretty rough for me because I have a hard time quieting my brain, and I wasn’t consistent with it. I secretly had a meditation mentor (Mashonda), so I would ask her questions and listen to the feed back that she provided others. As of today I am much better at meditating, but still not a master. I’ve even meditating with someone before.

Although I am a regular sometimes there are people and noises around my house, which takes me a little longer to get to the level in which I seek in meditation. The level that I like to achieve is the feeling of floating (astral journey/projection). I actually read that it’s recommended to readjust and realign oneself when meditating if you begin to have this experience. It’s described as an out-of-body experience, which is not encouraged. Those that teach meditation approach is to connect a person with their inner feelings, and to discover the Universe within. Sort of igniting your spirit within yourself.

So,  meditation experts feel that the out-of-body experience is mentally beyond meditation. Since I don’t feel disconnected in that moment I don’t see it as an issue for me. Although I must admit I was a little blown away by myself the first time I felt the feeling of floating. It’s as if you have no body weight, and you’re being lifted in the air. I don’t always reach that level, but it’s certainly my goal.

Since there are only 4 more days left in this year, meditating is a perfect way to closeout the year. You can get rid of all of the negative feelings, sadness, pain,  anxiety, and fear that may be lingering in your mind and heart through meditation. I have put together a list of 10 suggestions to help beginners or maybe even regulars meditate.

  1. Focus on your breathing. Regular deep breaths: Inhaling and exhaling.
  2. As you are trying to clear your mind random things will come to your mind don’t focus on pushing them out. It’s natural, and the more you focus on your breathing those thoughts will go away.
  3. I have aphorisms and/or affirmations that I repeat in my mind as I am meditating. I suppose you could call this a mantra. You should create your own and repeat them in your mind.
  4. If your background noises are distracting to you I suggest you plug your ear buds into your phone and put them in your ears. I listen to the album “Meditation music Collection New Age.” It’s super relaxing.
  5. I usually sit in the dark Native American style or I lay flat on my back (In the bed or on the floor. It’s up to you.)
  6. Know and understand that meditation takes time and patience.
  7. You might fall asleep. That’s just how relaxed you’ll be. Don’t let that discourage you, it happens. Either keep going or go to sleep.
  8. Many meditation sites suggest that you meditate during a certain time of the day to make it part of your routine. I am not suggesting that. When you’ve meditated about 3 times, everything in you will tell you when you need to meditate.
  9. You may want to create an ambiance. If so go ahead and light some candles.
  10. Don’t be afraid of the process. This is for your wellbeing.

I hope this helps. Enjoy your meditation session!

 

1st of the month

Posted on by Ashley Rae

 

 

 

It’s the first of the month! Time to set new goals! How much holiday food did you eat? I had more macaroni and cheese than I’d like to admit to eating. It’s back to the workout grind! Especially if you slowed down or didnt workout at all while you enjoyed those days off for Thanksgiving.

The beginning of the month is a great time to start new fitness goals! I’m starting a new eating plan today. Afterall losing weight is 80% of what you eat and 20% of working out. So, if you’re one of those people that hate to workout switch up the amount that you are putting on your plate. Eating on a saucer helps. If it can’t fit on the saucer it’s too much.

The meal plan I’ve created for myself is very little to no carbs/starch, little to no dairy, and I can only have something sweet (sugary) one day out the week. I’m going to go as long as I can without sweets. I’m somewhat addicted to them! Statistically it’s better to adjust the amount of your intake rather than completely removing certain foods drastically. It’s all mind over matter.

However, so many people associate food with emotions, and special occasions it makes healthy eating challenging. Every little bit counts! If you’re looking for a workout plan contact A&D Fitness, and they’ll get you together. Here is their Facebook page link➡️https://www.facebook.com/AanDFitness/ I have a great workout regimen from them that I do in my living room! You’ll definitely sweat!

 

Email me TheAshleyRaeBrand@gmail.com or leave a comment to let me know if you have any health goals this month. We can check each others progress and motivate each other.

Happy beginning of the month!

Am I a bad Mother?

Posted on by Ashley Rae

 

By Katrina Hamilton

 

 

I cry when I’m alone. A lot. The thought of having to care for someone who depends on you and cannot survive without you is frightening. On top of that, my daughter screams my head off almost non stop on me, but is an angel with her dad. It’s frustrating. I’m always tired. I have a loved one who tends to criticize almost every decision I make regarding my child, and it makes me feel like I’m not doing anything right for my daughter. I miss my kid free life sometimes. I miss the freedom that I had when my husband and I could just wake up and hop in the car for a road trip, or go on a spontaneous date without the responsibility of having to bring a child along or find childcare for her. I have terrible anxiety. I’m always afraid to leave the house alone with my daughter, but I’m also always afraid to stay home alone with her. Of course I still end up doing both, but I’m in anxiety mode the entire time until we’re reunited with my husband.

I’ve battled some type of anxiety since the day my daughter was born. I’ve always dealt with it alone because I was afraid that if I shared my fears with my husband, I’d make him feel like it was somehow his fault, and because none of it is even remotely his fault (or anyone’s fault for that matter), that would make me feel even worse if he ever started feeling that way. I kept it from my friends who don’t have kids. I felt like like they couldn’t possibly understand. I also kept it from my fellow mommy friends because they all seemed like they had everything together. I’ve never seen them cry or complain. They always seemed so happy and eager to spend every waking moment with their little ones, so I figured this is what a normal mother should be like. I started feeling like maybe the feelings I had were selfish, and maybe I’m not a good mom because of those feelings, so I kept it to myself.

But then, a few days ago, I started scrolling through my Facebook timeline and a post that someone shared from a young mom popped up. She talked about the rough day in motherhood that she was experiencing. She talked about how she sat in her car at the store and cried. She talked about how sometimes she has to hide for a few, just to prevent herself from completely falling apart. That post had 18 THOUSAND shares. And then another post came across my timeline. It was a post from one of the mommy groups that I’m a part of. These mommies were on there pouring their hearts out about how rough it is to be a mom at times. Last time I checked, there were about 200 comments on that post. And then another post popped up. This mother said she cried and felt terrible about making her daughter eat school lunch because she was unable to get herself together to make her a homemade lunch. As I kept scrolling, I saw a few more posts from mothers who were having bad days and were beating themselves up about it. Up until recently, many of these mothers (myself included) kept these things to themselves, which I believe may also be a small part of why so many of us end up battling depression or anxiety. The more you keep things bottled up, the more it hurts you.

These posts made me realize that I’m not alone though, and that these feelings are perfectly fine to have. As much as we want to be, we are not Superwomen, and that’s ok. It doesn’t make us bad mothers at all. It doesn’t make us selfish, and it doesn’t make us crazy. It makes us normal human beings. There is no handbook to teach you how to navigate through motherhood, and you will have bad days. All of this is ok. You can cry, hide out for an hour, and even scream if you need to. You can then pick up the phone and call another mother to talk about it, because our feelings definitely need to be discussed more. They also need to be discussed with someone who has been in your shoes and will not judge you, and I guarantee that your other mom friends felt the same way at some point, and will be happy and relieved to have the conversation with you.

No matter what you are going through, and no matter how you’re working on addressing it, just remember that your breakdowns are ok, and you will be ok. Your babies love you, and no matter how you may be feeling about yourself at the moment, they think you are the greatest mommy in the world!

Insecure

Posted on by Ashley Rae
Today is August 17th, 2017 which is my Birthday (Earthday)… whatever name you want to call it! This year I decided upon a photo shoot. Not just any photo shoot, but a photo shoot and a blog to promote positive body image. I remember being displeased with my body at the age of nine. Some of my body parts seemed to be growing fast, which looked very awkward on a child. Adults would make negative comments about my body and we all know how cruel kids can be.
 
I always seemed to be bigger than everyone else including my friends. Even in high school, I considered myself to be the big girl with the pretty face. You see being “thick” wasn’t all that popular in my day. I mean don’t get me wrong, there has always been males, at that time, that made me feel good about my body- but the damage had already been done. If you don’t feel good about your body it doesn’t even matter what anyone else thinks.
 
The lead girls in music videos were always thin unless it was Buffy the Body and she was all butt back then! I don’t really recall seeing many positive images of bigger women on TV, if I saw any at all. My birthday photo shoot felt like a coming out moment for me. It’s me accepting my entire body flaws and all! Recently one of my Facebook friends asked if there were any girls out here with naturally perfect curves without any enhancements from surgery. If you didn’t know we are in the age of Brazilian butt jobs, liposuction, tummy tucks, and gastric bypass surgery. There is absolutely nothing wrong with any of those procedures if that is what you need to feel beautiful.  As a person that has never had any type of surgery, those avenues just aren’t for me currently.
 
My body may not be perfect, but I love the way I look!  I definitely have curves, and I make an effort to workout 4-5 days a week. I don’t workout due to my weight; I workout because I want to obtain and maintain good health. This blog isn’t just about big or bigger girls. This blog is for every girl or woman who has ever been told that she’s too skinny or too tall. For every woman who has been told her breast or butt weren’t big enough, or that her stomach wasn’t flat enough. It’s for every person that has ever been compared to a model, actress, singer, or some random girl on Instagram that shows all her goods!
 
Embrace whatever body type that you may have. Look at your beautiful naked body in the mirror and speak positive life into yourself! You believe what you tell yourself, and as long as you speak positively to yourself you’ll never feel insecure.
 
Respect and love your body no matter its shape or size.
 
Photo credit JMT Printing & Design photo of Ashley Rae..

Being your own boss

Posted on by Ashley Rae

 

Entrepreneurship has been on the rise for the last 3 years. Everywhere you turn, you see someone opening up a business- even if it’s just an online business. There are memes all over the place encouraging people to exit their 9-5’s to become entrepreneurs. “Do what you love and get paid for it,” is a popular slogan that’s often viewed via social media. There was also a post that said something along the lines of “we congratulate people that get new jobs, but don’t congratulate those that start their own business.” Shouldn’t both be congratulated and celebrated, though? Continue reading “Being your own boss” →

Keeping quiet

Posted on by Ashley Rae

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What’s one of the first things a person does when they are excited about a new business venture or idea? They share it with people! They share it with friends, family, and loved ones! After all, those are people that bring you joy, comfort, and love! There’s no harm in that, right? There is always a person that doubts your idea or makes a negative comment or two- mainly because they have no drive and don’t believe in themselves- but for the most part, you’ll have people that are genuinely happy and excited for you! Continue reading “Keeping quiet” →

Black Friday

Posted on by Ashley Rae

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It’s that time of year again! Black Friday! The time when parents are doing whatever they can to get their children everything on their Christmas list, only to turn around and give the credit to a chubby Caucasian man in a red suit! And don’t you just love the crowded malls and cranky impatient people?! Although many of us are well aware of the shopping madness associated with Black Friday, a couple of years ago, a post started going around via social media that suggested that Black Friday originated from slave owners selling slaves for discounted prices. The post confused many people, prompting boycotts and making people question whether or not their original understanding of Black Friday was true or not.

I am here to tell you that it’s NOT true! With all of the current issues and events connected to racism and slavery, I understand why people were so readily accepting the myth of Black Friday originating from the slave trade. However, it’s just not true. After doing some research, I discovered that Black Friday originated in Philadelphia in the 1950’s. Traffic cops had to work 12 hour shifts to monitor the outrageous parking, traffic, and crowds of people that were a result in the annual Army-Navy football game that was held in the city every year.

Last year, African Americans and other groups boycotted Black Friday. The majority boycotted due to large corporations not taking a stand with Black people when innocent unarmed Blacks were being gunned down by police. If you want to boycott Black Friday this year for that same reason, go right ahead! Whatever reason you choose, just remember that just because you see it on a meme, it doesn’t make it true! If you choose to boycott this year, be sure to research the causes before you commit to one. Choosing to shop with Black owned businesses on Black Friday is also a great alternative!

Happy holidays if you celebrate! Bah humbug if you don’t!

Tis the season..

Posted on by Ashley Rae

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Photo credit:Google

The holiday preparations started in mid October for retailers with their decorations and sale items. It seems that retailers push Thanksgiving and Christmas together. While many people are checking out sales prices on items their kids want and taking notes on what to get Mom for Christmas, others just feel somewhat overwhelmed by it all.

There are just a few things I want everyone to consider. Although you may consider Thanksgiving and Christmas to be the umtimate holidays remember that everyone may not celebrate or participate for Religious or personal reasons. The holiday season also brings about lots of sadness. Recently I had a discussion with a friend about how the holiday season makes me nervous and I actually dread it because you seem to hear about so many deaths between Thanksgiving and the New Year.

Therefore if you know someone that has lost a loved one please don’t attempt to drown out their sorrows with holiday cheer. It will not work and will probably make the person feel worse. I’m simply asking for consideration of others while you continue your holiday cheer.

Remember what the holiday’s are supposed to be about which is peace, love, and family. If you happen to have all three and more consider yourself fortunate!

Happy Holiday’s if you celebrate!