Validation….
I was watching a TV show full of amazing vocalists and song writers who had collectively created a masterpiece of an album. Yet, when they were informed that a Grammy nomination wasn’t given to them for the album, everything changed. Their happiness was stripped away in a matter of moments.
When it comes to success or considering oneself successful, what instrument do we use to measure the highest or lowest level? I remember being taught at a very young age that a huge portion of success was based upon a person’s education level. Outside of the education that was received in school, I was forced to read books of my father’s choice and turn in book reports- all while maintaining a certain grade point average in school. College is the next move for most people after graduating high school. After high school and college (undergrad and grad school), I still didn’t feel successful even though neither one of those accomplishments were an easy task. It always seemed as if I wasn’t doing enough.
In the workplace, someone is given a certificate or reward for being a hardworking employee. There are always a group of peers that are pissed because someone else is being recognized and they feel they worked just as hard if not harder than that person. That feeling turns into negativity all because someone else didn’t validate that person’s work. How often in life have you let a person or situation take away your happiness, confidence, or power because you didn’t receive the validation you felt you deserved?
The vocalists in the show that I watched wanted validation in the form of a Grammy nomination. I realized that’s why I felt as if what I was doing wasn’t enough, because I wanted validity. It seems that we all seek validation in one form or another, but why? It seems that people measure how successful a person is by how they have been validated by others. It doesn’t matter if it’s via materialistic objects, awards, or constant verbal recognition.
Seeking approval seems to be a form of a self esteem issue. We shouldn’t be attempting to ingratiate with people based on what their opinions are about our personal accomplishments. Let’s make an attempt to teach ourselves to put more trust and confidence within. If you know that you’re performing to the best of your ability, your own validation should suffice.
It’s one of those things (validity) that’s been ingrained in us, to get approval by “society’s” standards. And in order to change it, as you mentioned, we must put more trust and confidence in ourselves, but we also have to return or recycle that love. We give people validation or have them take a test as soon as we meet them, by asking questions like “what do you do?” or “what school did you go to?” if a person is of a certain age and doesn’t have a certain type of house, car, relationship, job, etc we (not saying you or I in particular, but society) make all of these judgements about them as a person NOT making it and not being successful, but what if they are happy right where they are? Like really happy? so outside of trusting our selves and having our own validation, we have to make sure we trust other people when their validity is good enough for them as well.
I have come to terns with everything society had taught is a lie! Lol that’s just my personal opinion though. Funny you should say we have to trust people when their validity is good enough for them. I was friends with a couple that are now no longer together. The reason for the break up was because she didnt like him being happy with the way his life was. She felt he should be doing more! All because she has a few degrees and he didn’t. However he made more money than her (Irony). Sad!