Is being smart a bad thing?

imageKaty and Ken are on their third date. They are enjoying cocktails and conversation at a popular steakhouse while waiting on their meals to arrive. Ken has been the leader of the conversation, introducing all of the topics. Ken is surprised that Katy knows some information on the majority of the topics that he’s mentioned.

In Katy’s mind she feels relieved that Ken is holding such a well versed conversation with her, and that she is familiar with the subjects that Ken has provided. The date is seemingly going well, right? Katy’s stuffed chicken breast and pecan sweet potatoes arrive as well as Ken’s New York strip and roasted garlic potatoes. They enjoy their meals and prepare to leave the restaurant.

Ken takes Katy home and their date has officially ended. Ken likes Katy so far and Katy seems to be interested in him as well. The next day Ken calls Katy. He begins to dig further in Katy’s background. He asks questions about her educational background, who she’s dated, life experiences,etc.

Ken changes the subject and begins to discuss something he is interested in, which is film. When Katy engages in the conversation Ken cuts her off in mid-sentence and says “DAMN DO YOU HAVE TO BE A KNOW IT ALL?!” Katy of course was offended and stated that she wasn’t a know it all, but she does like to read and learn new things. Ken decided to end their conversation abruptly. The two never conversed again.

Ken and Katy are fictional characters but they are a combination of stories and personal experience. Is there something wrong with a woman being smart or aware of what’s going on in the world? You would think that a man would be able to appreciate a good conversation, right? I do understand that men like to feel as if they are informing or teaching women. It gives them the sense of leadership and guidance.

But what exactly is a “know it all?” Is it a person that’s well informed? A person that likes to teach other people what they know? We do know that a “know it all” is supposed to be a negative term because no one knows it all. I think the term is often misused. Just because you know something doesnt mean you’re a “know it all.”

Should women have to play the role of a space cadet or nod her way through a conversation so she can make her significant other feel as if he is “schooling” her? At the same time, women like to be taught by their man or the person that they are dating. It gives women a sense of excitement. However, I thought intelligent conversations were always a plus. I know every man doesn’t feel this way about well informed women (Thank God), but it’s becoming more obvious that there are too many who uphold this attitude.

Do men find it threatening or intimidating dating a knowledgeable woman? Is being smart a turn off to men? I just find it hard to accept that women are being frowned upon for being knowledgable. What’s the point of absorbing information if you can’t use it or share it?!

What do you all think?

2 thoughts on “Is being smart a bad thing?

  1. I’ve been called a know it all before, and I’ve come to find that lots of people don’t want to be informed or corrected for that matter. I personally don’t mind because I like to learn things and if I am misinformed, I’d want the right information so I don’t go around spreading misinformation (sometimes I do my due diligence, sometimes I don’t, realizing that doing my due diligence is a must with everything lol). As it pertains to relationships, I would think that a man would want a smart woman so that they can build something together and I would think having an intelligent and informed partner would keep one mentally sharp. But maybe a partnership isn’t what that man is after, maybe he’s after someone he can just control and/or showoff. If a woman isn’t embarrassing you or emasculating you with her intelligence then what is the issue? I’m interested in a mans point of view on this topic.

  2. Well men love to be right… And women do too. Men like to know it all … And women do too. However, in any situationship there is fight to claim who’s the smartest, who has the most knowledge of the street, etc… It is that want to have power , not leadership- those are two different things; and a woman who supposedly knows it all or even has it all is an automatic threat to that power; even if that woman has been bred by her foremothers to be submissive. All in all there is nothing that he can take from that woman when he leaves and there’s no fun in that, huh?
    However, a woman who knows nothing pass his level or has nothing he can manipulate, he can come back in forth out her life… She will stoop to the level of being the know-ER of who threw the brick through his car window -and there’s excitement in that, huh? Keywords to differentiate LEADERSHIP, POWER, MANIPULATOR…

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