Enough

 

If you watched BET’s hit series “Being Mary Jane,” last night you watched an intense yet serious moment in Black TV history for Black women. Mary Jane I must admit is very relatable yet extreme at the same time. However when Aaliyah and Mary Jane sat at the office table to prep Mary Jane for her potential interview regarding Lee’s Show (Lee is MJ’s ex boyfriend) the conversation got heated. It was actually more like a monologue, because Aaliyah sat quietly.

Here is what was said by MJ: “His project is trafficking in the same tired tropes.” “Black women are crazy, Black women are promiscuous, Black women are angry.” “But, have Black men ever taken responsibility for driving us to that?” “We live in a society that treats us like we’re the bottom of the barrel when it comes to romance.”  “Couple that with constantly trying to prove ourselves as worthy enough, right?” ” Be confident baby girl, but not intimidating, be smart but not emasculating.”  “Never enough but too much, too damn much, all at the same damn time.” “Men are encouraged to objectify our bodies, but the minute we search for sexual satisfaction oh baby we are called WHORES!”

I am sure that some people probably took this as Mary Jane being angry, or bitter even though that is not the message nor intent. However, does Mary Jane make some valid points? Shouldn’t Mary Jane have the right to be angry when she, and other Black women are looked upon as a last resort? The bottom of the barrel and/or less beautiful? Has anyone taken the time to discuss why many Black women feel the way that they (we) do? Of course Black women discuss these things amongst each other, but does anyone else care to listen for understanding instead of  hearing us to respond and downplay our plight?

The truth of the matter is Black women are constantly walking on eggshells trying to be enough, and not too damn much!  Where is the balance in being smart, and then engaging in a conversation yet being perceived as emasculating because of what you know? How is being confident intimidating unless you’re in some form of competition? Everyone should be confident in themselves without being egotistical. Black women can barely take a sexy picture without negative backlash.  Men are encouraged to objectify the bodies of women. Yet women can’t seek to be satisfied sexually.

What’s the point of even having sex if you aren’t seeking physical satisfaction and pleasure? The entire ideology of Black women being promiscuous comes from slavery, and I’m exhausted with explaining that! If you didn’t know Black women did not enjoy being raped! Being raped for years does not equal promiscuity! If a Black woman does consider herself (is) to be promiscuous or sexually fluid that does not give anyone the right to disrespect her or judge her. Even if you feel like she may be disrespecting herself you still should respect her, because you don’t control the actions of others, you control yourself!

Did Mary Jane just express to the world what many of us have been thinking and feeling? If you were constantly jumping through hoops to fit a picture of what someone’s idea of you should be,  wouldn’t that make you crazy at some point?

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She has her own: Independent Women.

 

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I made a Facebook status posing the question “when did being an independent woman equal not needing or wanting a man?” Of course the comments section blew up. Some people stated that social media has a lot to do with this new found definition, while others said they actually heard women stating that they are independent and don’t need a man. However, I’m sure that the statement of not needing a man is being misinterpreted. Continue reading “She has her own: Independent Women.”

RAPE

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All of this talk about Bill Cosby and his alleged rape victims has started up some serious emotions worldwide. You see, women have been sexually violated for hundreds of years. History tells us that women have had very little rights as far speaking freely, deciding on who they want to marry, and what they could and could not do with their bodies. Continue reading “RAPE”