Treat Yourself

Every now and then I feel like the work that I’m doing isn’t enough. I find new ways to become more productive. I get a little lazy sometimes and put things off. I have a corporate job, run and write my own blog site, I’m a business writer (Business Service Solutions), and I’m in the middle of writing my second book.
The last 3 months have been hectic! I’ve been working nonstop. There has been constant brain storming, collaborating with other wtiters, working out, and my regular social gatherings. I can’t seem to actually go to sleep until 4am, and I have to get up around 7:30am. I’m a night owl anyway, but I typically try to get to sleep around 2am.
I really do try to sleep. I forgot to mention that I’m managing 3 Instagram pages and 4 Facebook pages. Needless to say I’m tired, and it’s hard to admit it! On my Business Service Solutions (@Business_Service_Solutions) Instagram page, I give a business tip every week. This week’s business tip is take a vacation!
It’s so important to take care of yourself, and put everything else on hold. Although I have technically had 3 vacations this year, I didn’t leave the state and I still worked all of my businesses. The only thing I didn’t do was work my 9-5. Today I’m taking a mini vacation. I have about 4 or 5 days off, and I’m flying out.
I’m going to try not to answer any emails or go to bed thinking about my next and/or current projects.
Treat yourself!

War on drugs!

 

FACTS:

Law enforcement has been targeting people of color like Black men, Mexican Immigrants, and Mexican Americans as far back as the early 1900s. President Nixon initiated the war on drugs in 1971. During this time, drug usage was seen as rebellion by youth and for enjoyment during social gatherings. Of course President Nixon exaggerated the drug usage and its effects on people, and went on a crucifying crusade! Continue reading “War on drugs!”

Someone knows what happened to Kenneka

 

The day I heard about the mysterious death of Kenneka Jenkins is the same day that I stopped sleeping at night. I’ve been discussing her via social media and praying for the release of her spirit and soul privately. No, I don’t know Kenneka or her family personally. But, do I have to in order to be filled with melancholy over her death? I was 19 before. I have a 19 year old niece and a 19 year old cousin. They like to hangout with friends just as I did and still do. . I’ve been intoxicated before even though I was under age. I’ve done it all. Luckily none of my incidents turned fatal.

None of the information provided to the public regarding Kenneka’s death made sense. I still can’t believe authorities had the audacity to inform her Mother (Ms.Martin) that she walked in a freezer and froze to death. Keep in mind they told her this after she had been calling authorities and begging the Crown Plaza Hotel of Rosemeont, IL to review their cameras because her daughter was missing. First the hotel refused, and then they told Ms. Martin (Kenneka’s Mom) she wasnt on any footage.

After the police came to do a search of the hotel her body was found in a freezer of a kitchen that the hotel no longer uses. None of the other kitchen appliances were operating or plugged up but the freezer for some reason was. Alleged video footage of a much wider girl hit the internet staggering as if she had been drugged surfaced. It was allegedly Kenneka. It shows her going to different places in the hotel and walking into a kitchen, but nothing else! It’s not even a full video of footage:It’s pieces of clips. www.abc7chicagonews.com said police put together some instruments within the video to reconstruct what they believed was Kenneka’s path. That statement alone explains the lack of authenticity.

Kenneka’s death was ruled as an accident, and the case was officially closed this evening. I never believed that Kenneka’s death was an accident! Today photos of her body were released to the public. Indecent photos. Pictures of Kenneka’s lifeless body in a freezer on the floor with her breast exposed, her pants halfway up, a busted lip, and a shoe off and away from her foot! There is blood visible on her body as well as on the floor. There is also a large amount of dirt on the side of her Jordan gym shoe, and all up one side of her clothes. To be honest it looks as if Kenneka had been dragged on her side across the floor.

The photos that were released are disrespectful to Kenneka and her family. It’s apparent that there is no respect for the dead. Let me rephrase. There is no respect for a Black womans body parts or lifeless body as a whole, which is another reason why I feel her case is being dismissed! The pictures just raise more questions and speculation. If she froze to death why does she look beaten up? Why are her private parts exposed? Why is there blood on the floor? How could this be ruled as an accident? Who are the hotel and possibly the police trying to protect?

I hope someone has a conscience and decides to tell the truth about what happened to Kenneka. Kenneka is much more than just a teenage girl that lost her life. Kenneka is our daughter, little sister, favorite little cousin, niece, the little girl you watched grow up that lives down the street, and friend. Kenneka is you and I when we were young. Wouldn’t you want your community to care enough to discover the truth, and just maybe be able to provide your family with some closure?

Tell us what happened to Kenneka.

Budgeting and saving.

 

I started my blog because I wanted to inform the people about what’s going on in the world, and to help people comprehend situations and circumstances beyond the surface. In fact I want people to question everything that they were ever told, because many of us have been told untruths. My website (blog) is my small contribution to the people. Recently I decided upon some new categories. One of the categories is “MONEY TALKS!” I’m a person that has struggled with saving money because I lack discipline in this area. Simply put I am a spend thrift and I know I am not the only one. I buy what I want and I’m unapologetic about it. However, I know that saving money is important. It doesn’t matter how much money you make either. If you’re bad with money you can be a millionaire and still be broke.

This is the first post for the Money Talks category. I am pleased that Sonia Perkins-Thompson,  an entrepreneur with a Bachelor of Science in Business with a focus in financial management supplied LetsTalkRaeStyle with a video about budgeting. This is her contribution to the people.

A MESSAGE FROM SONIA!

“This video is a short “down to earth” basic why to create a budget. It gives examples and reasons on why creating a budget is so important. This video talks about the things we over look and do not think about when it comes to budgeting. We think sometimes it’s hard to budget and save but in reality, no one can win a game without a game plan. Focusing on the importance of discipline and other things mentioned in this video can lead to  the goals you have in life.” 

PLEASE SUBMIT ALL INQUIRIES IF ANY ON THE CONTACT PAGE

HERE IS THE VIDEO!

 

 

Am I a bad Mother?

 

By Katrina Hamilton

 

 

I cry when I’m alone. A lot. The thought of having to care for someone who depends on you and cannot survive without you is frightening. On top of that, my daughter screams my head off almost non stop on me, but is an angel with her dad. It’s frustrating. I’m always tired. I have a loved one who tends to criticize almost every decision I make regarding my child, and it makes me feel like I’m not doing anything right for my daughter. I miss my kid free life sometimes. I miss the freedom that I had when my husband and I could just wake up and hop in the car for a road trip, or go on a spontaneous date without the responsibility of having to bring a child along or find childcare for her. I have terrible anxiety. I’m always afraid to leave the house alone with my daughter, but I’m also always afraid to stay home alone with her. Of course I still end up doing both, but I’m in anxiety mode the entire time until we’re reunited with my husband.

I’ve battled some type of anxiety since the day my daughter was born. I’ve always dealt with it alone because I was afraid that if I shared my fears with my husband, I’d make him feel like it was somehow his fault, and because none of it is even remotely his fault (or anyone’s fault for that matter), that would make me feel even worse if he ever started feeling that way. I kept it from my friends who don’t have kids. I felt like like they couldn’t possibly understand. I also kept it from my fellow mommy friends because they all seemed like they had everything together. I’ve never seen them cry or complain. They always seemed so happy and eager to spend every waking moment with their little ones, so I figured this is what a normal mother should be like. I started feeling like maybe the feelings I had were selfish, and maybe I’m not a good mom because of those feelings, so I kept it to myself.

But then, a few days ago, I started scrolling through my Facebook timeline and a post that someone shared from a young mom popped up. She talked about the rough day in motherhood that she was experiencing. She talked about how she sat in her car at the store and cried. She talked about how sometimes she has to hide for a few, just to prevent herself from completely falling apart. That post had 18 THOUSAND shares. And then another post came across my timeline. It was a post from one of the mommy groups that I’m a part of. These mommies were on there pouring their hearts out about how rough it is to be a mom at times. Last time I checked, there were about 200 comments on that post. And then another post popped up. This mother said she cried and felt terrible about making her daughter eat school lunch because she was unable to get herself together to make her a homemade lunch. As I kept scrolling, I saw a few more posts from mothers who were having bad days and were beating themselves up about it. Up until recently, many of these mothers (myself included) kept these things to themselves, which I believe may also be a small part of why so many of us end up battling depression or anxiety. The more you keep things bottled up, the more it hurts you.

These posts made me realize that I’m not alone though, and that these feelings are perfectly fine to have. As much as we want to be, we are not Superwomen, and that’s ok. It doesn’t make us bad mothers at all. It doesn’t make us selfish, and it doesn’t make us crazy. It makes us normal human beings. There is no handbook to teach you how to navigate through motherhood, and you will have bad days. All of this is ok. You can cry, hide out for an hour, and even scream if you need to. You can then pick up the phone and call another mother to talk about it, because our feelings definitely need to be discussed more. They also need to be discussed with someone who has been in your shoes and will not judge you, and I guarantee that your other mom friends felt the same way at some point, and will be happy and relieved to have the conversation with you.

No matter what you are going through, and no matter how you’re working on addressing it, just remember that your breakdowns are ok, and you will be ok. Your babies love you, and no matter how you may be feeling about yourself at the moment, they think you are the greatest mommy in the world!

Problematic statements made by Black people

 

 

 

I can’t even begin to tell you how disgusted I am with some of the things that my people say about each other that makes no sense. Apparently it makes sense to them, but in all actuality they are usually extremely problematic or they are the views and opinions taken on by our oppressors. I’ve been carping about this very topic for at least the last 2 weeks. Every time I get ready to sit-down and create this blog, I see another statement made that’s extremely problematic. For example: A woman with a Black son was upset that some young teenage boys through something wet at her car while she was driving. She literally stated “I bet they have the type of parents that scream about police brutality and argue with teachers about what type of child they have.” I guess it’s okay for police to beat and or kill the teenage boys since they did something stupid that teenagers often do, right? PROBLEMATIC!

Below are 11 of the top problematic statements that Black people make about Black people.

1. “If Black Lives Mattered we wouldn’t have Black on Black crime!”

NEWS FLASH!! Black on Black crime is a term of propaganda created by the media in the 60’s! The fact of the matter is people of all ethnicities kill people that look like them! That is a FACT! Black Lives matter was created because when Black people are killed by the police or whomever is feeling trigger happy that is not Black gets a pass for killing a Black person. The killing is somehow justified and justice is never served. This has been going on for centuries! Also, if you think Black people like the crime or take crime lightly that happens within our own communities it’s obvious that you have never been to a stop the violence rally or protest! Which, means you are not active or really paying attention to what’s happening in your community!

BOTTOMLINE: STOP SAYING THAT STUPID SHIT!

2. If the NFL players aren’t protesting why should I?

You should be protesting because you should have the common sense to realize that the NFL is making a powerful statement about how they feel about Black people as a whole. If you didn’t know what that powerful statement was let me tell you. The NFL’s statement was “we don’t care about your hard times in America due to you being a Black man. Just make our money BOY!” Not standing or kneeling is not disrespecting the flag, the country, or those who have served in the armed forces. They are just using those things to prevent you from speaking about the real issue which is the historically poor, unfair, unjust, inhumane, treatment of Black people in this country! THAT’S THE REASON PLAYERS ARE KNEELING OR SITTING DURING THE NATIONAL ANTHEM!

BOTTOMLINE: THINK! Maybe you could figure somethings out and stop letting a sport you don’t get paid to watch or play run your life!

3. “I want a mixed baby.”

Do I even have to explain this? You wanting a “mixed” baby is just stating you don’t like the features of Black babies. You don’t like yourself and how you look. You think that having a close Caucasian gene makes your baby better or special! It doesn’t If you want a mixed baby get a Poodle mixed with a Yorkshire, because animals are mixed not people!

BOTTOMLINE: You’re IGNORANT! LOVE YOURSELF IDIOT!

4. I can’t stand being around Black people.

You are Black and your statement is ignorant. What makes you think any other ethnicity wants to be around you?

BOTTOMLINE: SHUTUP and get some class!

5. Speaking negatively about a movement that Black people have started to create awareness about social injustice.

Either you are going to support the movement or not! No one needs your criticism when a larger motive or goal is the objective! You being negative in an attempt to disassociate yourself isn’t necessary. You could just be quiet.

BOTTOMLINE: SUPPORT THE CAUSE OR SHUTUP!

6. Stop telling Black people where they went wrong after being beaten and/or handcuffed for no reason by the police.

If you haven’t realized that it doesn’t matter what you do or say if an officer decides to kick your A$$ that’s exactly what’s going to happen. It doesn’t matter what you’re wearing or what you say!

BOTTOMLINE: HELP STOP THE ACCEPTANCE OF POLICE BRUTALITY!

7. “She’s pretty to be dark-skin.”

Are you serious? She’s pretty period! Complexion doesn’t matter.

BOTTOMLINE: GET OFF THE PLANTATION FO MASSA COME BACK!

8. “She got good hair.”

There is no such thing as GOOD HAIR! There are different types of textures of hair. For example kinky, wavy, curly, straight, thick, and or soft.

BOTTOMLINE: LOVE THE HAIR THAT YOU HAVE. I DON’T KNOW A SINGLE WOMAN THAT LIKES HER HAIR, NO MATTER THE TEXTURE!

9. “Nah he’s not Black Black he’s from Trindad.”

Slaves were dropped off in the Caribbean, Jamaica, Brazil, Argentina, Chile, Bolivia, Barbados, Dominican Republic, Haiti,Buenos Aires, Ecuador, Cuba, and Puerto Rico! There are more places but this was just to name a few. The slaves in North America were the leftover slaves!

BOTTOMLINE: We have the same African Ancestry! We have been separated by land and culture, which CREATES THE ILLUSION THAT WE ARE DIFFERENT PEOPLE BUT WE ARE NOT!

 

10. Any time a black celebrity (ie R. Kelly and Bill Cosby) get caught in their bullshit, you all say it’s just because they’re black,

They are disgusting humans getting caught up in their devilsih ways! Just because you like what they represent doesn’t mean that’s who they are! Then you compare them to White celebrities that have been accused of the same thing! NEWS FLASH THEY AREN’T WHITE!

BOTTOMLINE: Stop blaming the victim and focus on the pattern of the CRIMINAL! If they are so innocent leave your daughters and nieces with them.

11. Stating since there are problems within the Black community we have no reason or right to complain about how other groups of people treat us.

This is the most disappointing statement I’ve seen! No other group of people have the history that we have as far as coming to this country, and being separated by complexion! Everyone deserves to be treated with respect and dignity regardless of what the next person has done!

BOTTOMLINE: If you want to shuck and jive and be disrespectful to impress or fit in with another Ethnic group, go by yourself! The rest of us aren’t going with you! BE THE CHANGE THAT YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD!

 

Thank you for visiting LetsTalkRaeStyle.com

Vegas Shooting

By Ashley Rae

Last night (early this morning) Police responded to a 911 call around 10pm PST (1am EST) that there was a shooting at the Country festival in Las Vegas, NV near the popular hotel and casino Mandalay Bay as well as McCarran International airport. Festival goers reported hearing noise that sound very similar to firecrackers. Witnesses stated that the noise grew closer and people around them start screaming they were hit. Witnesses say the sound of bullets became more rapid and people started hitting the ground.

Country festival performers that were on stage began to exit the stage and look for cover. More and more people began to fall to the ground: That was the first round of shooting. A second round of shots occurred. Realization of what was happening and panic began to take place. The scene had been described as “pandemonium” at best.

It’s now being reported that more than 50 people are dead and at least 406 people have been injured. It’s said that a lone gunman began firing shots from the 32nd floor of Mandalay Bay’s hotel and casino resort. The shooter has been identified as Stephen Paddock. Paddock is a 64 year old gunman from Mesquite, Las Vegas Police officers found multiple weapons in the room of Paddock. 62 year old Marilou Danley was the roommate of Paddock has been located by police. Paddock has been shot and is in serious critical condition.

Motives have not yet been defined and/or released. McCarran airport has cancelled multiple Flights and are working on a limitrd schedule for the day. This story will be updated as more information becomes available. Thank you for visiting LetsTalkRaeStyle.com

A small contribution

I am disappointed in the amount of people that are on my timeline watching any NFL game. I was asked why do I want people to boycott the NFL, but not have the NFL players boycott the NFL. I never said that I didn’t want the players to boycott! In fact, I wish they would! However, they are under a contract and many of the players are young. Sometimes we don’t understand the underlying meanings of actions or lack of actions in pressing circumstances. Continue reading “A small contribution”

Enough

 

If you watched BET’s hit series “Being Mary Jane,” last night you watched an intense yet serious moment in Black TV history for Black women. Mary Jane I must admit is very relatable yet extreme at the same time. However when Aaliyah and Mary Jane sat at the office table to prep Mary Jane for her potential interview regarding Lee’s Show (Lee is MJ’s ex boyfriend) the conversation got heated. It was actually more like a monologue, because Aaliyah sat quietly.

Here is what was said by MJ: “His project is trafficking in the same tired tropes.” “Black women are crazy, Black women are promiscuous, Black women are angry.” “But, have Black men ever taken responsibility for driving us to that?” “We live in a society that treats us like we’re the bottom of the barrel when it comes to romance.”  “Couple that with constantly trying to prove ourselves as worthy enough, right?” ” Be confident baby girl, but not intimidating, be smart but not emasculating.”  “Never enough but too much, too damn much, all at the same damn time.” “Men are encouraged to objectify our bodies, but the minute we search for sexual satisfaction oh baby we are called WHORES!”

I am sure that some people probably took this as Mary Jane being angry, or bitter even though that is not the message nor intent. However, does Mary Jane make some valid points? Shouldn’t Mary Jane have the right to be angry when she, and other Black women are looked upon as a last resort? The bottom of the barrel and/or less beautiful? Has anyone taken the time to discuss why many Black women feel the way that they (we) do? Of course Black women discuss these things amongst each other, but does anyone else care to listen for understanding instead of  hearing us to respond and downplay our plight?

The truth of the matter is Black women are constantly walking on eggshells trying to be enough, and not too damn much!  Where is the balance in being smart, and then engaging in a conversation yet being perceived as emasculating because of what you know? How is being confident intimidating unless you’re in some form of competition? Everyone should be confident in themselves without being egotistical. Black women can barely take a sexy picture without negative backlash.  Men are encouraged to objectify the bodies of women. Yet women can’t seek to be satisfied sexually.

What’s the point of even having sex if you aren’t seeking physical satisfaction and pleasure? The entire ideology of Black women being promiscuous comes from slavery, and I’m exhausted with explaining that! If you didn’t know Black women did not enjoy being raped! Being raped for years does not equal promiscuity! If a Black woman does consider herself (is) to be promiscuous or sexually fluid that does not give anyone the right to disrespect her or judge her. Even if you feel like she may be disrespecting herself you still should respect her, because you don’t control the actions of others, you control yourself!

Did Mary Jane just express to the world what many of us have been thinking and feeling? If you were constantly jumping through hoops to fit a picture of what someone’s idea of you should be,  wouldn’t that make you crazy at some point?

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